Part Time Dad (Not by Choice) Bank Account VS Daddy

So you've just seen your daughter for the first time in more than a few years... She's older now but very angry. The story she heard made you look like a complete deadbeat even though for the first four years of her life you were fighting to get access to see her and be a part of your life.  How do you have a relationship with a young woman who hates you for something you were forced to do.  Leave her.  How do you compete with years and years of hate filled comments swimming around in her brain.  In her opinion you own her big time you've become the bank account verses her daddy.  
Here are a few tips that might help. 
1.  Allow her to be angry at you for leaving regardless of the reasons you left (your fault or otherwise) and keep on giving her the time and attention she needs. Let her know if you have something she needs it's hers. If its money or a drive somewhere or cloths (within reason) do your best to give it... Yes I know we're not made of money but if you give what you can you will prove the negative "Your-No-Good" stories wrong.  
2. Stay consistent with visits and phonecalls.  Remember you may have lost 10 years but there's more years ahead so you may have to spend the next 10 proving that you're not what she thinks. It might not be your fault that you lost communication but you can sure make sure it does not happen again if she's old enough and the situation has changed now that you can see and talk to her again. 
3. Remember she's gonna need you in her 30's and when she's a mommy herself and the grand kids will need you as well... If you play your cards right she'll see the truth and the time lost will be recovered... 
4.  If you've saved any information from the court case keep it handy because she's gonna ask one day.  When she asked about the hateful stories don't add hateful ones of your own.  Remember there is always a reason why those stories were told. 

5.  If you're not in a position to see her now then put aside little birthday cards and toys that you would give her if you could.   A keep-sake box of treasure that you can give to her one day... This is also a good thing to do if you can see her now if you don't have one already, create a special box of things you've always wanted to give her and suprise her one wednesday afternoon with it.

These simple gestures go along way in a childs life. 

If you need more information about this sensative topic or would like to hear about the unique programs we offer for girls please email me at info@inspiredbycoco.com.  I'd love to hear from you...

My best,

Coco  

All Posts
×

Almost done…

We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!

OKSubscriptions powered by Strikingly